This year's unlucky loser: Turkey

Having been forcibly restrained and forced to watch all 26 entries of the 2003 Eurovision Song Contest, I now have a theory that explains this horrifying event. Last year, host country Estonia spent an entire year's worth of TV budget on the song contest; it's hugely expensive. No country wants to become next year's host. How do you avoid becoming a host? By not winning. How do you not win? By submitting the worst possible song. Suddenly, it all makes sense. The ESC is a contest to create the worst piece of musical performance possible. If you're good, you lose.