The XANTANOX HEALING CRYSTAL!!!!!

Discover the AMAZING powers of the XANTANOX HEALING CRYSTAL!!!

Have YOU...

• been DEFRAUDED by HEALERS who promised to cure everything from INGROWN toenails to CANCER?
• joined a CULT and MINDLESSLY followed a SELF-PROCLAIMED PROPHET who took all your MONEY?
• spent HOURS trying to DECIPHER what your OUIJA BOARD meant by "EGTERGHDBVFMDF"?
• been EXPOSED to UNNECESSARILY capitalized WORDS?

Then you are READY for the XANTANOX CRYSTAL!
The XANTANOX CRYSTAL, revealed many MILLENNIA ago to ancient MAYAS by an ALIEN SPECIES called the "HUMPHREYS", has the INCREDIBLE power to acutely cure ANYONE WHO TOUCHES IT of a belief in the SUPERNATURAL! Simply touch the crystal 43 times per day and within MONTHS, you will have become a SANE, RATIONAL human being with no interest in PSEUDOSCIENTIFIC MUMBO-JUMBO... EVER again!!
Order your XANTANOX CRYSTAL NOW! All major CREDIT CARDS accepted! Only $2199,- (or pay in FORTY-THREE easy INSTALLMENTS of $700 each)!