Worst invention ever: the phone menu

"Welcome to Feelgood Health Insurance. To learn about our products, press 1."
"Not interested, I need a human."
"To discuss a rejected insurance claim..."
"Yeah, yeah, get on with it."
"...press 2. To submit your insurance claim, press 3. To hold for..."
"'4' is invalid."
"To learn about our--"
"What?! You BASTARD!"
"...press 1. To discuss..."
"I'm really enjoying this... at 50 CENTS A MINUTE!"
"... insurance claim, press 3. To hold for one of our operators..."
"YES? YES!?!"
"...press 8."
"EIGHT?! Where did that come from?"
[Celine Dion sings "My heart will go on" for 80 excruciating seconds]
"Our operators are momentarily busy. The average waiting time is 19 minutes. Please try again later."
[Dial tone]

Posted by cronopio at 02:18 PM, June 01, 2006