Open letter to Regency and Fox

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am the Chairman of the National Association of Correct Punctuation (the NACP or, if you prefer, the N.A.C.P). The NACP aims to improve the punctuation skills of the general public, which are, let's face it, pretty dismal to begin with. Ours is an uphill battle, our attempts to raise punctuation awareness are largely futile. So often are we forced to remain quiet, for fear of being branded nitpickers.
Be that as it may, I feel it is my duty to inform you of a recent punctuation error you have made. This error is so enormous and its implications so far-reaching that I could not stand idly by and let this monstrosity be. Action must be taken, whatever the cost.
First some theory. The English language has two basic mechanism for abbreviating words. One, the writer lops off the ending of the word, turning, for example, abbreviation into abbrev. This process is known in punctuation circles as shortening. Two, the writer removes some of the letters from the word, but leaves the last letter as it is. For example, Mister becomes Mr. This process is known as contraction. Now here's the catch:
Abbreviations are written with a period at the end, but contractions are not.
This means that the correct punctuation is Mr and Mrs Smith, not Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
So you can imagine my horror when, on my way to NACP headquarters in West Hammington, Iowa, I came face to face with a gigantic billboard for your movie:

A more horrible spectacle could not have affronted me. I stood there, aghast at the sheer enormity of your mistake. After I had entered the NACP offices and Mrs Jenkins had made me some tea, I somehow collected myself. But then it slowly dawned on me that this punctuation error was appearing in huge posters all across the country, nay, all over the globe! Yes, everywhere on our planet, the false message that "Mr" and "Mrs" should somehow end in a dot is being reinforced as we speak. You, Regency and Fox, have done incalculable damage to the punctuation skills of millions, no, billions of people.
Is it too late to undo the damage? No, it is not. There is yet time to stem the tide of mispunctuation. The t's can still be crossed, and the i's dotted, so to speak. So I implore you, before it is too late: please rectify this terrible, terrible flaw, and repaint your movie poster all across the globe. If you do not take this action immediately, the damage will be irreparable.

Thank you for your time. I hope to hear from you soon.

Your sincerely,
Chairman, NACP.

Posted by cronopio at 02:32 PM, August 09, 2005