Meanwhile, in an alternate reality...

When we stormed into the palace, Saddam Hussein, finger on the button, was about to launch his vast array of WMDs, which we discovered afterward. As he fell to the ground, we glimpsed Osama Bin Laden and caught him too. He was here to inspect the thousands of Al-Qaeda training camps we encountered on our way over. How the crowds cheered as we paraded them around the city streets!
We've created a stable country ruled by wise Iraqis with the best of intentions. We came, we saw, and we conquered –without harming the civilian population or Iraq's rich cultural heritage.