One side to every two stories

North Korea attacks South Korea
The North Korean army launched a full-scale nuclear attack on South Korea yesterday, killing a million South Koreans by noon. A White House spokesperson conveyed the US response this afternoon: 'Probably, we're considering a strongly worded reprimand. I'd have to check.'
Iraq late delivering weapons
At 12:00 tonight, 58 seconds late, Iraq delivered all missing WMDs to UN weapons inspectors. Hans Blix said that 'all WMDs are now accounted for; Iraq poses no threat anymore.' In response, President Bush vowed to 'nuke this dangerous nation to kingdom come' because of its 'blatant disregard of deadlines'

Posted by cronopio at 01:03 AM, March 06, 2003