Now to find a story to put these in..

• "It was 5:25 –the time of day when the hands of the clock most resemble a flaccid penis."


• "Only when her hair looked perfect and she shifted her gaze toward the pale, bony figure in the mirror, did Cindy realize what she had been experiencing: a brush with death."


• "Small Oaks was like a badly maintained weblog –change was uncommon to it, and visitors were rare."


• "The thought popping into Jim's head resembled the time when the winner of the Nobel Prize for chemistry, Henry Pachowsky, keeled over, falling into a coma: a stroke of genius."