100 words - Excerpt from “You Too Can Be A Songwriter”

  • Stuck with a word to rhyme with “girl”? Try “world”. There are other options (“curl”, “whirl”), but use these cautiously. Never use “hurl”.
  • If you feel there is no way to avoid using the word “fuck” in your lyrics, simply use the word “dance” as a substitute.
  • A boy band song should always include one part that is spoken, in a deep voice, and invariably starts with “Girl…”
  • If you feel completely untalented, there is a career for you in death metal or old Southern blues. In both of these genres, all lyrics are unintelligible anyway.

Posted by cronopio at 01:15 AM, February 22, 2002 | Comments (0)